Help Me Permanently Damage My Liver

No more co-pay for birth control. A deal regarding the debt ceiling. THS: Snooki is on E! right now. Today is a good day.

To-Do: Clean Toilet Before Friday

With all this great news floating around, I decided not to screw it up by blogging about lattes. Instead, I decided to screw it up by blogging about booze.

I graduate from college Friday. I'm elated. I mean, this is a monumental event, and I will never get to experience it again. For that reason, I have decided to drink so much that night that I forget how to use a pencil. Already making good post-college decisions, I know.

Now, I need your help. What should I drink? I'm not much of a binge drinker, so I'm looking to you guys for advice on what to wet my whistle with.

I promise to order every drink suggested to me and will be taking photographic proof of my boozing, which I will proudly post to this blog once I regain motor skills.

So, if you were a recent college-graduate with a degree in journalism and political science, what would you drink? Besides a bottle of NyQuil chased with a handful of pills.

Now, back to Snooki, because I've got a lot to learn before I can keep up with that little, orange bitch.

P.S. I've received a few emails from people eager to hear my unqualified advice, but there is still time if you have yet to figure out how to put your adult-baby fetish into words. Email me at notreallyabarista@gmail.com or on Twitter @AllieOopsie. I will answer one question every Thursday until I give up on my dreams and go to law school.