Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Have You Lost Weight, Roberto Arango?

Puerto Rican Senator Roberto Arango has been working on his fitness. And as anyone who has ever been on the winning side of a diet knows, sometimes you feel the need to take photographic proof of your weight loss.

And then sometimes while posing yourself for these pictures, you wind up on all fours on a bed taking a cellphone photo of your asshole in a mirror. And then sometimes you end up posting that photo on Grindr, an app meant to help gay men find other men in their vicinity.

Now hold your horses, Roberto Arango is not a homosexual. In fact, Mr. Arango is a Republican who opposes gay rights and gay marriage.

To make sure that people realized that he's not gay, just a proud dieter, he released this statement:

"You know I've been losing weight. As I shed that weight, I've been taking pictures. I don't remember taking this particular picture but I'm not gonna say I didn't take it. I'd tell you if I remembered taking the picture but I don't."

So you see, this is all just a big misunderstanding. Roberto Arango was not trying to tantalize potential suitors by flashing his tuchus like a cat in heat, he was just trying to document his weight loss. Whew... what a relief!


Looking good, Roberto, looking good.

13 comments:

Fred Miller said...

Thank you for distorting the image. I posted a picture of a horse dick today, but I still disturbed people because I didn't blur it enough. You live and learn.

Allie said...

Unfortunately, the only pics I could find were distorted. Trust me, if I found the original, you guys would have gotten full asshole.

sugar-free-thoughts.com said...

I came. I saw distorted asshole. My day is complete and now you have a new follower.

Allie said...

Thanks!! It makes me happy to know that I'm not the only person who has their day made by a distorted asshole.

Hannah said...

hahahahahaha...awesome.

Allie said...

Thanks Hannah :)

B. said...

Getting down on all fours and spreading cheeks for a weight loss photo op is totally normal. *rolling eyes*

Hilarious post!

Allie said...

B! I know, I'm almost insulted that he thinks people are dumb enough to believe that. Then I remember he posted a photo of his tush on Grindr... Because illicit pictures of politicians never get out.

He's obviously slow.

camerabanger said...

Never disappoint! I stopped reading the NY times because I get all the news that's fit to print from this page. The rest of the news is on my own page and is (by definition) not fit to print but I do anyway.
Thanks Allie!!!!

Allie said...

Thanks Camerabanger!! You just made my unused journalism degree seem valuable.

Gabs said...

This is hilarious, I love your writing Allie.

Allie said...

Thanks so much Gabs!

Liz Taylor Training said...

I am catching up on stalking your blog and this is probably my favorite post EVA. hahhahaahaah fucking republicans seriously.