Sunday, August 7, 2011

Gradapalooza and My Blog is All Fiery and Junk

I graduated from college Friday. As I had previously assumed, they did give me a cardboard box to live in along with my fake diploma. But the ceremony was lovely, and I talked my dad out  of wearing a wifebeater. So all-in-all, it was a pretty great day. Then came the night...

I have no idea how much money I spent on alcohol, and the only clear memory I have is doing the cupid shuffle with my graduation cap on. But I didn't vomit, and I successfully managed to get a friend laid (If you're looking for a wing"lady" get in touch with me on Twitter).

I had plans on taking pictures and sharing it with you guys, but unfortunately I forgot how to operate a camera. Plus the few pictures I  do have, I'm looking full-on Anna Nicole, and I just don't need that on the internet. But I did have an Adios Motherfucker, as suggested by one of my wonderful Blogger ladies, which I'm pretty sure tipped me into "licking a urinal" inebriation.

So blah blah blah, graduation was super, and I might have chlamydia. Now onto the good stuff.

The amazing Carrymel, at Khaki, not Cocky, presented me with The Blog on Fire award, which is great, because normally I associate fire with the burning sensation from my possible chlamydia. So a happy burn is always appreciated. Thank you so much Carrymel... and I'm very sorry to be mentioning your name in this STD-ridden post.

I'm pretty new to blogging and just started putting some effort into I'm Not Really a Barista so it makes me so happy to have someone whose blog I love to read, acknowledge mine. Now onto the rules that come with the acceptance of this award.

1. Thank the award giver:  Thank you Carrymel!!!!

2. Reveal FIVE facts about yourself.

  • I am the worst driver on the planet. Seriously, I like to attack inanimate objects with my car.
  • I have an English bulldog named Zeus, but I only call him Squishy Bastard or Zeusface Killah.
  • I have dated the same guy since high school, but I am not one of those true love/soulmate people. I'm pretty sure it's just coincidence. 
  • I can quote Pulp Fiction line by line.
  • I am absolutely terrified of Chucky from Child's Play, and have been since I was a kid.
3. Pass this award on to SEVEN other bloggers.

So that's it. I'm a graduate. My blog is on fire. Chlamydia is treatable. What a good weekend.

18 comments:

The Diatribest said...

Thanks for the award! I am so putting that on my profile. I'll do what I can to spread your awesomeness like an STD at a highschool dance.

Allie said...

Obviously, we are one in the same. Look how much we like STD humor!

Tara said...

Oh, Allie! Thank you so much for reading my blog and for giving me an award! That means so much to me...really. And I'm glad to know that there are people out there who are sincere in their acceptance of those who are different. Thank you again.

Allie said...

You are welcome, Tara! I love you blog. It is so real and personal. Also, us journalism grads have to stick together.

BlackLOG said...

Just to clear a few things up

I have no idea how much money I spent on alcohol, and the only clear memory I have is doing the cupid shuffle with my graduation cap on. But I didn't vomit,Are you sure about that? Have you checked your graduation cap…. and I successfully managed to get a friend laid Before employing your services, can you confirm if you got your friend laid on top of the patio or underneath it – which is an entirely different deal altogether….Come to think of it I might have use of both services….

and


I am the worst driver on the planet. Seriously, I like to attack inanimate objects with my car.
The real skill in being a bad driver is hitting moving object and I mean fast moving object – pensioners don’t count as they move way to slowly

Allie said...

Blacklog, I could get you laid wherever you would like. I perform miracles like a coitus-inducing Jesus. Just let me know, man. We can make this winglady thing happen.

So about the driving, I think anyone can be a horrible driver when speed is involved, I think it takes a special kind of bad to nearly kill someone at 5mph.

But you say tomato, I say I've driven over more traffic cones than I can count.

Carrymel said...

Congratulations on graduating! So you're a journalism grad too?! And guess what else we have in common. . .

- I can quote Pulp Fiction line by line. - DITTO!
- I am absolutely terrified of Chucky from Child's Play, and have been since I was a kid. - DITTO!

I have a dog named Kyle. . .I call him Kyle Rouge, like Moulin Rouge.
I can't drive at all. Like, "I don't have a license" at all.

Did we just become best friends?! :D

Allie said...

Thank you so much!

And did you just quote Stepbrothers to me!!! We definitely just became best friends!

Gabs said...

Allie! You are such a gem. Thanks for the award sweet cheeks! You are one of the few blogs that I actually like to keep up with :) I'm glad that other people find my writing hilarious besides myself haha.

Also, congrats on graduating!!

A Beer for the Shower said...

Congrats on graduating! And thanks mucho for the shout-out, Allie. Though I'd have to argue that we're probably genius-level retarded at best.

Allie said...

Gabs- Thanks so much! And I feel the same about your blog.

Beer- If it make you fee better, genius-level retarded would have still gotten my vote.

Fred Miller said...

If you survived college, you'll survive the clap. I'm your newest subscriber.

Allie said...

Thanks, Fred! Always looking for support, both in my followers and my possible STDs.

BlackLOG said...

Blacklog, I could get you laid wherever you would like. I perform miracles like a coitus-inducing Jesus. Just let me know, man. We can make this winglady thing happen. I think Mrs B might be less than impressed if I hired you as my winglaidy (see what I did there…)…. I can see that ending in a very painful swelling as she manages to miss both my legs on the way up…Ouch, that brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it…..

As for the whole coitus-inducing Jesus thing, have you thought about marketing yourself as living Viagra pill


So about the driving, I think anyone can be a horrible driver when speed is involved, I think it takes a special kind of bad to nearly kill someone at 5mph.
Sounds like I’ve been stuck behind you before and I can confirm that nearly killed me…

But you say tomato, I say I've driven over more traffic cones than I can count
The cones don’t count unless they are being held by a snotty nosed kid….and as I recall the result was more like a squashed tomato…

Allie said...

Blacklog- I put an ad on Craigslist trying to market myself as human viagra... but it didn't really work out like a I planned.

Plus, I'm sure I have almost killed you. Seriously. But I have yet to hit a kid... on the ol' Bucket List though.

BlackLOG said...

I would imagine there is some stiff competition in the Viagra market…

To ensure you receive more thank you cards than death threats, make sure it’s one of the unpopular kids you put on your bucket list...

squatlo said...

Congrats on the graduation, which is almost a perfect offset to the STD diagnosis. Almost.
Saw where you'd signed on as a follower (I prefer the word 'disciple') of my blog, so I backtracked you to your nest like a stalker, and will now make a habit of visiting with snarky remarks. No need to thank me, I do this as a public service.
Only wish you'd found my blog before you listed off all of those other brilliant pages for people to check... now I'm behind the curve.
But appreciate you coming by, and look forward to following your post-graduate saga.

Allie said...

Thanks Squatlo, I always appreciate snarky comments from people fitting the description of a stalker. I think we will be great friends!