Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I Love a Jihad Against Rick Santorum

Jihad means holy war? I thought it
meant sweaty, anal sex party. Nevermind.
Recently, uber-douchebag, bigot, and presidential-hopeful Rick Santorum said that the LGBT community has "gone out on a jihad" against him. Santorum believes that because Dan Savage and his readers have made his name synonymous with a by-product of anal sex, the gay community has gone all holy war on him.

Sure, Santorum compared homosexuality to bestiality and gay marriage to a napkin, but what's the big deal. Napkins are useful and my dog just got anally finger-banged by his groomer. Chill out.

So, I'm here to tell Mr. Santorum that I'm behind him 100 percent ... with a strap-on and a bottle of Astroglide ready to create a frothy, frothy mix.

Santorum 2012. Fuck yeah.

8 comments:

Maxwell said...

I think this is inappropriate and unethical for you to say. Frankly, I'm disgusted by this post.

You made no mention of covering the strap-on with razor blades. That would make him a lock in the red states. Shame on you.

Allie said...

Dammit, I knew I was leaving something out.

Heather Rose said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FnP7QqWamA

Now Dan Savage is going after Santorum's first name ... Dan Savage is my hero.

Allie said...

Lmao, Heather. I saw that. I'm slightly obsessed with Dan Savage!

Shane Pilgrim said...

Yeah...I'm from Pennsylvania and most of us aren't exactly proud of Rick Santorum. He gives the rest of us a bad name. On the other hand, at least our name isn't synonymous with lube-covered shit. So in the end we get the better deal...pun completely intended.

~SP

Allie said...

Shane- I kinda love you!

Shane Pilgrim said...

Haha, I'm just kind of a bastard sometimes :D

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