Sunday, October 30, 2011

Happy Halloween to the Future Cast of "16 and Pregnant"

Halloween is mere hours away and for any of you guys still searching for the perfect costume to get for the underage girl in your life, I've found a few options in the aisles of Target.

The "Little Girl Sold into Sex Trafficking" Costume

The "Stepdad's Tickle Party" Costume

The "No Sex in the Champagne Room, Unless You Got Some Blow" Costume

I learned after further inspection of the costumes that they're supposed to be something from a show called "Monster High," which is I'm pretty sure is kiddie porn. I'd Google it, but I have enough problems with authorities without adding sexual predator to the list.

Anyways, have a happy and sexually-gratutious Halloween. 


Maxwell said...

If it makes you feel at all better, I have a LOT of pedophile-related search terms leading to my blog, and have yet to be harassed by the government authorities...

Oh - and I love the names of the costumes!

Thank_Q said...

LOL! This is nice. Great names, too!

A Beer for the Shower said...

With a name like Monster High, I would hope that Method Man or Snoop Dogg makes an occasional informative guest appearance.

The Diatribest said...

I found a sexy watermelon outfit. If you have to dress like that for Halloween, I'm sorry to say that your parents didn't love you enough.

Angie said...

Monster High is actually very cute. I have my own Draculaura doll (the one that the bottom costume is based after!) Monster High is all about family and friends, even if you are a bit strange. Strange being Dracula's daughter, Frankenstein's daughter, etc. It's adorable! ^_^

Ach du lieber said...

I always swore I'd never be one of those parents who allowed her daughter out of the house in one of those costumes. And I made it 17 Halloweens until I happened upon a picture from Saturday night of my baby girl in a sexy fireman (fireperson?) costume. We do the best we can but once they get cash of their own and access to outside influences, all bets are off.
My advice to parents of preteens? Get leather restraints. They're harder to chew through.

SymbioticLife said...

I had to share this page with the Twitterverse. It would be a damned shame if someone in a jam missed out on this precious inspiration. Plus, some might post pic's.

BlackLOG said...

These jailbait costumes totally vindicate my cowardly stance of hiding under the kitchen table with the cats, until the little shits stop knocking on the door demanding e-numbers....

I can imagine some demented parent accusing me of leering at his little precious pumpkin prostitute who is wearing one of them

Demented parent – “Are you looking at my little girl?”

Me – “Yes, but only because you thrust her into my face when I opened the door”

Demented parent – “Are you saying my six year old girl is ugly”

Me – “I’m certainly not saying it...... although between you me I have to admit that I’ve been thinking along those lines...”

Demented parent – “If you don’t pay me to sleep with her I’m going to tell everyone that you are a paedophile”

Me – “Why would I pay you to sleep with her – looking at the two of you I would have thought inbreeding runs in the family without any money changing hands ”

Demented parent “No you’ve got that round the wrong way”

Me “What you want to pay me to sleep with her?....not my scene, besides you couldn’t afford my prices...

I’ll tell you what, bring her back in about 24 years, with proof that she is a virgin and yes Sleeping with you and other close members of her family does count as losing her virginity, I might consider opening up the sweet container and giving her one....

of the sweets....hey what did you think I meant ”

Demented parent -“Want to sleep with the pit-bull then”

Me – “I’m sure your wife is very nice but I’ve got a couple of pussies waiting for me in the kitchen, so I shall decline your tempting offer. Don’t hesitate not to call back next year ”

Demented parent – “Can I join you with the pussies”

Me – “of course you can but only if you kill yourself and take most of your trailer trash family with you, first ”

I Slam door and retreat back inside

Mischief - “Meow!”

Me – “Just some ghastly people”

McG “Meow!”

¬Me – “No, I told you last year, you’re not even allowed to eat the scummy ones, you know how it gives you indigestion”

OK, this has not actually happened but it’s probably only a matter of time.....

Woody said...

This is hilarious! "Stepdad's Tickle Party" had me cracking up, in a disturbing way. It was a shameful laugh, I'd say.

the Tsaritsa said...

I have no problem with adults wanting to dress sexy for Halloween, but kids under the age of 18? That's just gross and wrong on so many levels.

L-Kat said...

I was more scared of the little hookers that came to my door than my dog was. Creepy little bitches.

MonsteRawr said...

Jesus tap dancing christ, why don't they just cut to the chase and make a "My Lil' Hooker" costume. Big brother can go as "Big Pimp Daddy." It'll be fun for the whole fucking family!

Allie said...

Maxwell- Thanks! That makes me feel better about my decisions.

Q- Thanks!

Beer- Snoop was in the porn business there for a little while, wasn't he?

Diatribest- I'm curious to know how the watermelon costume was sexed up.

Angie- I'm sure it is. I'm just angry that those 12-year-old bitches can stand in 7-inch heels, and I can't.

Ach- If you got her to 17 without her dressing up like a sexy fireman, I think you won as a parent.

Symbiotic- Thanks! I hope people post pics.

BlackLOG- Lol... Well, that was sexy.

Woody- Thanks! Let's not think about the shame.

Tsarita- I'm all for adults dressing up like uber-sluts on Halloween, but the kiddies make me a little nervous. I blame Law & Order.

L-Kat- Yeah, me and my puppy hide out from the creepy bitches.

Monster- I think I love you!