Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dear GOP, Even Pat Robertson Thinks You're Batshit Crazy

Attention Republican presidential hopefuls: The old dude from the 700 Club, who believes homosexuality caused Hurricane Katrina, thinks you need to take it down a notch. 

Yep, the fella who believes Haiti had it coming and that feminists are really just witchcraft-practicing lesbians, said on his program that Republicans are going into extremes that will lose them the general election.


Holy shit. This completely logical piece of advice is coming from the man who undoubtedly beats off to the idea of Ann Coulter spitting on an illegal immigrant. 

Are you listening GOP? 

The gatekeeper of the Religious Right thinks that you guys are going to lose the general election if you don't adopt some more moderate positions. This is like Charles Manson telling someone that they might need to seek some therapy because they're acting a little nutty.

Does God, Jesus, and the freaking Holy Spirit need to come down to Earth, buy a Prius, slap a COEXIST sticker on that bad boy, and vote Democrat before you guys realize that you have isolated your party.

I don't know if this blog really has a point, but the fact that I agree with something Pat Robertson said makes me feel unclean. So I'm going to go take some birth control and masturbate to girl-on-girl porn.


Maybe it really is the end of days.

11 comments:

Lorraine said...

Reading this post made my eyes feel dirty. I didn't even write it and I feel dirty!

Yeesh.

Lor

Allie said...

Awesome post. I think I need to take a rape shower now.

Maxwell said...

Marry me. Seriously. This post is so fucking awesome that its awesomeness cannot be measured by conventional awesome-ometers.

Allie said...

Lorraine- I'm so sorry! I felt this had to be done. Go take a hot shower and cry for about an hour, the feeling will pass.

Allie- Thanks!!! And just remember in your rape shower... This is not your fault.

Maxwell- Awww shucks, I love marriage proposals!!! And now that I know we share a love of The League, I think this union might work.

Ach du lieber said...

Political thought processes aside, Pat Robertson thinks everyone is batshit crazy. Glad to see you're trying to unsee what has been seen.

Heather Rose said...

I think it may be time to quit my job and throw my lot in with the Rapture people, because obviously the world is about to end in some sort of explosion of mass irony...

Allie said...

Ach- I'm afraid it might be too late for me. Save yourself.

Heather- Lmao! I always assumed it would be something a long those lines.

SymbioticLife said...

omg! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I feel like I just swallowed something really nasty and I need to go brush my teeth, with bleach. It truly is the rapture if I'm agreeing with Pat Robertson.

Anonymous said...

"the Democrat, whoever it is..."

Does Pat not know that Obama will be the Democratic candidate?

Either way, I'm also disturbed by the fact that he seems to be making sense...

Allie said...

Symbiotic- We might need to find a bomb shelter soon!

Anon- I think Robertson is using the "He who must not be named" approach to referring to Obama.

Andie said...

Make it stop! Make it stop!