Sunday, July 1, 2012

Did You Hear Mitt Romney is ...

It's been a pretty crazy week in politics, what with the Supreme Court upholding President Obama's health care overhaul.

Did you know that under Obamacare it's totally legal to shoot anyone over the age of 65 who has the sniffles for more than 2 days? 

Me either! But Twitter told me. And my relatives on Facebook. 

If you live under a rock, or in a blue state, people are pissed about the SCOTUS ruling. I think Dave Rubin said it best on Twitter.


Seems crazy, huh? 

But if you ask anyone against healthcare reform they will give you a laundry list of reasons (many which are batshit crazy) why Obamacare roughly equals Armageddon.

But that's where the Right has always had the Left beat. The crazy coalition.

Righties get together and the crazy spreads like wildfire. Then the crazy gets a bullhorn and screams at the top of its lungs. And then the crazy starts rubbing off on normal people, and I have to hear people say things like.

"Did you hear Obama is going to take away our guns?"

"Did you hear Obama said he's a Muslim."

"Did you hear Obama is a socialist. He's also a fascist.
 No, I don't know what either of those mean, necessarily."

And then I start to cry. Because I realize that the Right is on to something. They out-crazy the Left EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. 

And the president has to do things like show his birth certificate. Because the bullshit grows legs and wanders out of the trailer parks and into the real world.

Well, I think it's time Democrats step up the crazy. And what a perfect time, because I've heard some pretty messed-up stuff about Mitt Romney lately, and I think I should share it with you guys!

Did you hear that Mitt Romney plans on
 selling the U.S. to China

Did you hear Mitt Romney is going to outlaw lingerie, 
and we're all going to have to wear Mormon underwear?

Did you hear Mitt Romney doesn't own a gun and 
drives a Prius?

Did you hear Mitt Romney was born in Mexico? He's going
to open the borders to his drug cartel friends!

Did you hear that Mitt Romney thinks Godfather 3 was
the best of the saga?

Did you hear Mitt Romney is going to outlaw Nascar 
and college football?

Did you hear Mitt Romney is from Detroit, and Kid Rock is a supporter?(Oh wait, that one's real. I guess some shit you just can't make up.)

Is there anything YOU'VE HEARD about Mitt Romney?


L-Kat said...

This is only sort of related.

My office mate the other day informed me she was "upset with how Obama was elected." I was all, "by the Electoral College?" And she said, "No, by all the ignorant black people that voted for him." I paused for a good 3 seconds because I was unsure how to respond at her ignorance. But she threw me a bone and continued, "Well, he got a lot of the Muslim vote too since he's Muslim."

I bet Mitt told her all of this.

Allie said...

Holy shit! I don't even know what to say to that.

You deserve a medal for not slapping the shit out of her.

Coyote Rose said...

Wow L-Kat. I'm Republican and I'm offended by that one.

Listen, there are a bunch of fucking crazies on both sides. I'm thinking about starting my own political party: "the party of common fucking sense" because obviously no one in this country has any anymore!

Sorry, I'll end my ranting now.

Allie said...

Coyote- I definitely agree there are crazies on both sides. My political posts are always meant to be tongue-in-cheek, with emphasis on the political participants who are vocal but not knowledgable, like L-Kat's office mate.

And feel free to rant! Left or right, there is a lot to rant about.

HeatherRose said...

Yeah, well, I heard that Mitt hates women and gay people and sex outside marriage and anyone who earns less than $1.2million per year. ...Oh. Shit.

Allie said...

Oh Heather I love you so much!

MonsteRawr said...

Eats babies. Without any ketchup. Can you believe that shit? I mean, what's the man got against ketchup?

Shaneiferd said...

I heard that Mitt Romney once defecated on a hooker's chest and then punched her in the face because she complained. That kind of ungentlemanly conduct is not becoming of a potential future President.