Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Welcome to Funkytown

I try not to write when I don't have anything to say.

Don't get me wrong I could tell you all about my insomnia or my back letting me know I'm no longer a spring chicken by going out on me, but those things aren't really interesting.

Are they?

Yeah, I didn't think so either.

Basically I'm in a funk. A working too much. Sleeping too little. What in the fuck am I doing with my life. FUNK. Which means that all of my ideas for posting revolve around the following:

1. Dramatically quitting my job. And telling some Escalade-driving cunt that I would rather live in a cardboard box than make her another Nonfat Latte.

2. Dramatically quitting my job. And telling my boss that I would rather give an unwashed Newt Gingrich an enthusiastic rimjob than listen to her talk about how much she hates her husband and children.

Don't get me wrong, my funk was not born out of a dissatisfaction with my job. This funk was born from monotony.

I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Same shit. Different day.

So, dear reader, help me out. How do you break out of a rut?

In the spirit of full disclosure, a box of wine did nothing.

Anything else?


Banana Stickers said...

I'd say dramatically quitting your job sounds like it would break your rut. Or going on a crime spree. I hear those can be fun.
Neither of those suggestions were terribly helpful, and I do apologize. I wish I had real advice to lend, but I've been in the same funky town shit-rut for what feels like a damn eternity. I do know that "the little things" help make it bearable while you're bustin' out of ze funk. Like midgets and tiny cupcakes. And mini booze bottles.
I do hope you get the fuck out of funky town soon. If you discover any helpful pointers along the way, do share.
Side note, you use the word "cunt" like you mean it. And that is fantastic.

Holly said...

Quit. I did and it certainly solved the 15 year old career funk I was in...of course I am only earning half as much while I study, so something has got to give to make it work!
PS as long as you are aware that 'cunt' is just the short form of the proper 'cuntmuppet' use it with gay abandon!

Ally Gregory-Moore said...

Start looking for a new job. Quitting your job will definitely break up the monotony. You'll meet new people, have a different routine. It will be awesome.

L-Kat said...

I vote for a new job. But it might be wise to find the other job before quitting your old one...

the Tsaritsa said...

Mmmm, unwashed Newty rimjob...

I feel you on the funk. I was in one for a long time, and sometimes a dramatic change is the exact right order. Hope you find a cool job that you like :)

Allie said...

Thanks for all the advice guys! (and the cunt praise!!)

I definitely think some change is in order, whether that be quitting my job or cutting back, so I can have more time for things that actually move me!

I think I'll be moving out of Funkytown in no time!

camerabanger said...

Take some time off and volunteer at an animal shelter or a food bank. Take care of a person with Alzheimer's for a couple of days. Do something fucking useful that pays shit and pretty soon you will either realize how good you've got it and appreciate the paycheck or never go back to the coffee shop again.

I know you wanta spit in my coffee now. that's cool.

Allie said...

No need to spit in your coffee. That's actually a really good idea!

The coffee shop I work in really encourages its employees to volunteer in the community. I always feel very thankful afterwards.

Barfly said...

Holy cow!! Your descriptions are so vivid and great...rimming and unwashed fat politician? Damn.

MonsteRawr said...

Adopt a puppy. Or a kid. Either way, they're going to wreck the house and piss all over everything, which should be good for some excitement.

Anonymous said...

Smoke a little bud always makes my day better!!!