Friday, July 22, 2011

The Dirty South

I keep getting told by rappers that I live in the dirty south. And by "dirty" I think they mean the "slightly bigoted and still pretty pissed about the Civil War" south.  Although, for the most part the people who attend KKK rallies and believe the term "colored" is politically correct can be avoided. That is until one of these people takes off their "Mel Gibson was Right" t-shirt and sneaks their way into your life.

The other day, a young lady that I have lovingly spoke about in a previous post decided to share some of her opinions on race. Long story short, she's likes to thank the Lord every day that he made her "a white," which makes absolutely no sense because she has made it her life mission to look like Snooki.

Normally, I know how to respond when people say things I don't agree with.

"I think Michele Bachmann will make a great president."
 Yep, and her closet-case husband will be the best first lady ever.


Something like that. However, I was so stunned by her brazen confession that I didn't say anything. I left work angry with myself. I wanted to go back in there and tell her that I was not in her white-trash honkey club. I wanted to tell her that I would literally dry hump Taye Diggs' bald head if given the opportunity.

But I didn't. Instead, I told my boss and she wrote her up and explained that if anything else was ever said she would be fired. Bosslady recommended that we teach this 19-year-old twat a new way of thinking.

So, I open the question to some of my followers. Can someone be taught tolerance? If this orange-faced idiot is exposed to the idea of equality, will she eventually realize that her previous thoughts were wrong? Can this bronzer-dipped lady douche be rehabilitated?

And if not... should I beat her with a pillowcase full of dimes or nickels?

4 comments:

LatteJunkie said...

I would like to say that people can be taught tolerance but sadly - if they are adults it will have to be beaten into them.

The Diatribest said...

I'd go with the pillowcase with a bar of soap.

Allie said...

Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice! I just hope they're letting people blog from prison these days.

LatteJunkie said...

blogging is a human right - freedom of speech and wifi! goddammit!