Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Will Marco Rubio's Perfectly Coifed Hair Win Him the VP Ticket?

There is so much stupid in the news today that I have no clue where to even begin.

Eeny. Meeny. Miney. Mormon.

Okay, I guess we'll start with the most dry-humpable former Mormon: Marco Rubio. 

Have you heard of him? Yeah, I assumed so. The Republican Party hasn't been this excited since the advent of Grindr.

I mean look at him. He's beautiful. He's young. He's charismatic. He's like a Cuban Barack Obama, without all that tolerance nonsense. And Mitt Romney is ready to make him his VP.

"Marco Rubio is being thoroughly vetted as
part of our process." -Mitt Romney 

I  can only assume this means Romney is going to give Rubio his letterman jacket and ask him to go steady.

Hungry Eyes.

To be honest, I'm a little nervous about this possible pairing. 

Rubio is a Jr. Senator from my state and has a pretty nasty track record when it comes to women's rights (Rubio wrote the bill that would give employers the right to deny contraceptive care based on moral objection.) That type of far-right crazy mixed with whatever "it" factor he has, might actually win Romney some votes. 

Here's hoping there are pictures of him dressed as Lady Gaga out there somewhere. 

Moving on.

Samuel Wurzelbacher is in the news, or Joe the Plumber as he's better known.

Wurzelbacher is running for the Ohio House.

Oh, and he thinks the Holocaust wouldn't have happened if only the Jews had access to assault rifles

Yep. He loves America. And guns!

Finally, my state's governor, Rick Scott is making headlines.

Why you ask?

Oh, he's just getting Florida sued.

The Lawsuit filed Tuesday claims that the governor is in violation of the Voting Rights Act because of his attempt to purge suspected non-citizens from Florida's voting rolls.

Of the 2,700 Floridians on the "purge list" 82 percent were people of color.

This comes on the heels of other moves, such as cutting early voter hours and voter registration drives, that critics suggest are aimed at lowering minority and student participation in the presidential election.

Nice one, Ricky.

Where are the Zombies when we need them, Florida?


mud_rake said...

Joe the non-plumber, unfortunately, lives about 3 miles down the road from me. The word moron does not quite capture his essence.

L-Kat said...

Oh, dear Lord, please help our country.

Allie said...

mud_rake- Please be careful, he seems really gun happy!

L-Kat- But on a brighter note, the idiocy will make for excellent blogging.

Lemons in lemondrops, my friend.

Shaneiferd said...

Every day, I grow more and more afraid that Romney is going to win this election. I honestly think it will happen. And with this batshit crazy asshole as his VP? Break out the passports, folks, and run for the Canadian border.