Thursday, November 3, 2011

True Love Waits. Blue Balls? Not so Much.

It's Thursday, and you know what that means.

Let's talk about sex, baby.

Okay, I'm sorry for that. I will never use early '90s hip-hop lyrics in reference to a blog topic again. That was wrong of me.

Anywho, since obviously people are not fucked up enough to write into I'm Not Really a Barista, I've decided to share some opinions on sex education. If you have been paying attention to the news or Twitter, you are probably aware that the topic of sex education has been in the media a lot.

Like in Wisconsin. Oh Wisconsin.

Recently, legislation has passed the state Senate that will require public schools to stress abstinence education. This would make Wisconsin the 27th U.S. State that is pushing abstinence until marriage in place of sex education.

Really, 27 states? More than half of the country is encouraging horny high-schoolers to keep it in their pants until marriage, and this is supposed to end well.

I remember being given abstinence-only education in high school. I remember the 14-year-old girls sporting purity rings after signing a pledge to keep themselves pure until their wedding night. I remember bracelets emblazoned with the words “True Love Waits.” Then I remember the next year when about 10 of those same girls got knocked-up. I guess, purity is really overrated when you're dry-humping in the back of a Ford Focus.

I hope that this legislation doesn't pass in Wisconsin, because at least it was warm where I lived, so I can only imagine how much boning these purity-stricken teens will do in the dead of winter.

But on a positive note, at least MTV will have new candidates for “16 and Pregnant.” Because true love might wait, but raging erections tend to be rather impatient.

9 comments: said...

The abstinence only crowd made the term "it's ok, anal isn't real sex" popular. Same with blowjobs.

And if you've already done THOSE two, then what's the harm in....

I'm with you. Learn it all, and then make an educated choice. If I tell you to close your eyes, and start chanting 'DON'T SEE THE NUMBER THREE, DON'T SEE THE NUMBER THREE' guess what you're gonna see...

A Beer for the Shower said...

Abstinence only education is great in theory, just as long as those folks are also gung-ho for abortion. It could happen, right? Right?

Ally Gregory said...

Parents who think that abstinence is a viable method of birth control to teach to a bunch of hormonal teens need to be prepared to walk their daughter down the aisle while she is 6 months pregnant. She would, of course, be wearing all white. You have to maintain that element of "purity," especially in the South.

MonsteRawr said...

Just like the food pyramid is doing swell things for the nation's obesity problem.

Pink Gingham Girl said...

HAHA. This made my day. Nothing wrong with a little dry humping. I agree, it's an impractical message they're sending to kids. They're imbibed with sex day in and day out: in the media, in music, in everyday LIFE. And yet, the message they're being told is: just don't do it. Or you'll get chlamydia and die. Here, now take some condoms.

Thank_Q said...

Yeah, this is the American way now. Just avoid discussing something and it will eventually go away. Yeah, right! It never happens. This country has turned into a place full of cowards. Instead of meeting things head-on like our forefathers, we choose to avoid it and hope it goes away. No wonder there are so many teen agers with expanded bellies.

Biped said...

Oh, this kind of thing makes me so mad! And this in a state where girls have taken abortion drugs made for cows.

the Tsaritsa said...

Ugh. Kids should know about safe sex and how to prevent STDs. To expect a bunch of horny teens to wait until marriage is ludicrous.

Allie said...

Lost- I will never fully understand the logic that drives the whole "anything that's not vaginal intercourse" isn't sex crowd.

Beer- If not, I could personally start pushing teens down flights of stairs after prom.

Ally- Amen. I never bought into the pledge of purity idea, which made growing into the South interesting.

Monster- LMAO! So True.

Pink-I agree a little dry-humping never killed anyone... well at least I don't think so.

p.s. I will always love you for the Mean Girls reference.

Q- Agreed. It's also turned into a place where people like to force agendas. The dangerous practice of abstinence-only education is only going to screw over teens, while the politicos pushing for it fuck strangers on CL.

Biped- OMG! I'm horrified.

Tsarita- I 100% agree with you. It's ridiculous.