I know I can't be the only person who gets on the social-networking site and immediately questions every life choice you've ever made if these are the people you consider "friends".
Real Facebook Status
Yep, these are the kind of people who make up my online network. And you guys wonder why I make coffee and talk about adult-baby fetishists.
But besides deleting every single person on my Facebook, there are some things I wish could be outlawed.
- I wish I never had to see another girl quote Marilyn Monroe as their Facebook status.
Ladies, I don't know if any of you have wikipedia'ed her, but it didn't turn out too well. Plus, basically anything she's ever said is going to make you look 100 percent batshit crazy.
- I wish I never had to see another guy update their status with a "make me a sandwich" or "get in the kitchen" joke.
This isn't even a feminist thing, I'm mainly just worried about your virginity. Plus, if you get to tell me to "get in the kitchen" because I'm a female, I get to tell you go in your room and masturbate with tears because you're a World of Warcraft player.
- I wish I never had to read another heartbroken status from an angsty preteen.
Best give up on love now. How do you feel about cats?
- I wish I never had to have my feed clogged by that one person who posts sucky music videos.
Nickelback? Really? Defriend.
- I wish I never had to see another politically-retarded person give their opinion on politics.
Oh... it's gotta go through Congress and shit. Hopefully they prevent the Obama-approved Holocaust.
This list could go on and on, and while there is a part of me that wants to just deactivate my Facebook and call it a day, I just can't seem to go through with it.
Oh shit, Rick Santorum has 80,000 likes?
Fuck this shit!