First, you regaled us with the stories of kiddie beauty queens (none of which will hump a strip-club stage by the age of 16). Then, we learned about a family who has 20 kids (none of which will be gay or serial killers). Now, the channel dedicated solely to learning is debuting a new series about people in their late-20s/early-30s who have retained their virginity in an over-sexualized world.
The Virgin Diaries debuts tonight and "takes you inside the lives of adult virgins who reveal the challenges, truths, and anticipations of losing their virginity" (TLC).
Like this lovely, soon-to-be-married couple, who are anxiously awaiting the moment they can figure out how to use those silly, ol' genitals of theirs. But besides being eager to go to pound-town these crazy kids, umm... adults are saving their first kiss until their wedding day also.
I think it's going to be magical. Let's have a look.
Look at that passion-filled kiss. Can you imagine what he's going to do to her clitoris? I mean, when he finds it in 10-12 years, of course.
Listen I'm a huge fan of awkward freak shows, I do live in the South. But seriously TLC, must you exploit every creepy, unsightly segment of the American population? You're making us look bad to Canada!
But what do I know? This is just a teaser. When I watch tonight (oh, I'll be watching) I might fall in love with these hapless, hymenally-sealed losers. Hell, I might decide to take my own sexuality to task. Maybe I'll reclaim my virginity!
Yeah, probably not.