Matt and I were driving to my shoulder leprosy doctor when this argument/dumb-fuckery occurred:
Me: What is your problem? You have the shittiest attitude today.
Matt: I have a wonderful attitude today!
Me: Nope! It's shitty. Your attitude looks like, like, balls. Yep, it resembles a scrotum, so you might want to check yourself.
Matt: Well, those balls must be strapped to a fucking unicorn. They must be majestic and sparkle in the sunlight.
Me: Wait, do unicorns have balls?
Matt: Oh yeah and they're beautiful.
Me: So you think your attitude is like unicorn balls?
Matt: I do.
Me: Alright then.
And that's how the argument ended, because my boyfriend blindsided me by bringing up a mythical creature's glittering junk. Later when we were home, I decided to google the term "unicorn balls" and found this.
Side Note: I also googled "unicorn dick" and found a picture of a girl with a
penis on her forehead, so happy early father's day that girl's dad!
So even though Matt technically tricked me into not being mad at him, I was able find a picture of Mitt Romney with the words "unicorn balls" underneath his face.
I'm gonna take it as a win.