Wife: (checking Facebook on her phone) My sister put the pictures up of [baby name].
Husband: (not looking up from his iPad) That's the ugliest fucking baby I've ever seen.
Wife: Oh my God, I can't believe you said that. He's adorable.
Husband: Are you joking? That kid looks like it wasn't cooked all the way.
Wife: (Stunned silence)
Husband: As a matter of fact, I'm pretty pissed that she's putting those pictures on Facebook and I'm being forced to look at them. What if I was eating?
Wife: That is our nephew you're talking about!
Husband: And he's hideous.
And that's how I met my favorite customer of all time.