Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Help! My F#ck Buddy is Turning into a Cuddle Buddy

Allie,

So after years on having horrible soul crushing, and sometimes face crushing, relationships Ive gotten myself into a fuck buddy situation. Heres the issue, Im not sure if we are doing it right and if you could tell me that would be awesome! We met about 3 months ago and have been sleeping together ever so often since. We have great chemistry and so great sex is had by all. Here's the dilema, when we have sex I end up spending the night, its happened so often now its tradition. We cuddle, hold hands etc. I feel bad cause I am there for the morning sex, but am not sure why he is. Is this going to end in feelings and messy? 

Thanks,
Clever witty name here!

It's been  awhile since I've posted an advice blog, and what an adorable question to come back to. 

So here's the thing, Clever, I can't really tell you how to be in an appropriate fuck-buddy relationship, mainly because I have never been in one myself. I hope this little bit of information will not cause any of my loyal readers to have less faith in my unqualified sexual advice. 

Now even though you all have just learned that I am purer than Courtney Stodden on her wedding night, I still think I can help. 

When it comes to fuck-buddy relationships, as with any relationship, if both parties are comfortable with the situation, then there's not really a problem. However, I do understand your trepidation. 

It seems like you and this guy are becoming reliant on one another for things more cuddly than orgasms, and while that is all well in good, you might want to have a conversation with cuddle-buddy to better define the relationship.

Listen, I don't think that things will end up messy just because this man treats you as more than just an orifice, but I do think it will end up messy if there are unrequited feelings that are not getting addressed. So sit down with this fella and explain your concerns. 

And remember fuck buddies have feelings too. So if he's not secretly collecting your hair off of his pillow in the morning, let homeboy hold your hand without stressing out.




P.S. If after reading this you think, "I wish my fuck buddy would hold my hand." Then write to me at notreallyabarista@gmail.com or on Twitter @AllieOopsie. You will remain anonymous.

5 comments:

icyHighs said...

Its a tricky slope but the fuckbuddy thing always leads to a cuddle/fuckbuddy thing if it continues for more than a few weeks. Its no bad thing - the body makes all the physical connections to trick the mind into thinking you're a healthy functional adult through the cuddling and spending time together etc, but with no baggage. Just make sure its very clearly communicated on both sides, so nobody gets hurt.

Allie said...

Well said, icyHighs!

Tawsif Chowdhury said...

Very smart and forward thinking
Thanks for a valuable article.
Believe this might be terribly useful.
Just make sure its very clearly communicated on both sides, so nobody gets hurt.
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