Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Super Tuesday. Super Sick. Dammit.

It's Super Tuesday, which for a blogger than mainly talks about politics and blowjobs is like the Superbowl.

But I'm sick.

I'm assuming I caught a bit of the sniffles this weekend while I was down on the farm capturing a little man-on-goat love to send to my good pal Rush Limbaugh. Anything for puffy-faced, drug-addicted friend.

However, I do wish I wasn't about to fall into a Nyquil-induced coma so I could watch the results come in, but I have a feeling it's going to go a little something like this tonight.

Ron Paul: 0 wins. Counts the collective gold coins he keeps under his mattress.

Newt Gingrich: 1 win. Congratulates himself on an incredible victory, then prays to Reagan.

Rick Santorum: 3 wins. Googles himself repeatedly and ultimately masturbates to the definition.

Mitt Romney: 6 wins: Launders his magic underoos, then practices his "I don't hate poor people" smile in the mirror.

Happy Super Tuesday!

3 comments:

Ach du lieber said...

Watsamatta, kid? Hope it's not the creeping crud that I had.

Feel better! The Republicans will be there when you do.

MonsteRawr said...

I didn't pay attention to the results because I was working and also battling the crud, but no matter the real results I think I'm going to stick with yours. It's more accurate in intent if not action.

Anthony said...

Hope you feel better soon.