It's Super Tuesday, which for a blogger than mainly talks about politics and blowjobs is like the Superbowl.
But I'm sick.
I'm assuming I caught a bit of the sniffles this weekend while I was down on the farm capturing a little man-on-goat love to send to my good pal Rush Limbaugh. Anything for puffy-faced, drug-addicted friend.
However, I do wish I wasn't about to fall into a Nyquil-induced coma so I could watch the results come in, but I have a feeling it's going to go a little something like this tonight.
Ron Paul: 0 wins. Counts the collective gold coins he keeps under his mattress.
Newt Gingrich: 1 win. Congratulates himself on an incredible victory, then prays to Reagan.
Rick Santorum: 3 wins. Googles himself repeatedly and ultimately masturbates to the definition.
Mitt Romney: 6 wins: Launders his magic underoos, then practices his "I don't hate poor people" smile in the mirror.
Happy Super Tuesday!