Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Super Tuesday. Super Sick. Dammit.

It's Super Tuesday, which for a blogger than mainly talks about politics and blowjobs is like the Superbowl.

But I'm sick.

I'm assuming I caught a bit of the sniffles this weekend while I was down on the farm capturing a little man-on-goat love to send to my good pal Rush Limbaugh. Anything for puffy-faced, drug-addicted friend.

However, I do wish I wasn't about to fall into a Nyquil-induced coma so I could watch the results come in, but I have a feeling it's going to go a little something like this tonight.

Ron Paul: 0 wins. Counts the collective gold coins he keeps under his mattress.

Newt Gingrich: 1 win. Congratulates himself on an incredible victory, then prays to Reagan.

Rick Santorum: 3 wins. Googles himself repeatedly and ultimately masturbates to the definition.

Mitt Romney: 6 wins: Launders his magic underoos, then practices his "I don't hate poor people" smile in the mirror.

Happy Super Tuesday!


Ach du lieber said...

Watsamatta, kid? Hope it's not the creeping crud that I had.

Feel better! The Republicans will be there when you do.

MonsteRawr said...

I didn't pay attention to the results because I was working and also battling the crud, but no matter the real results I think I'm going to stick with yours. It's more accurate in intent if not action.

Anthony said...

Hope you feel better soon.