Tuesday, March 27, 2012

100 Posts and Rambling

100 posts.

This will be my 100th post.

And like Marcus Bachmann when faced with vaginal intercourse, I cannot perform.

I've been racking my brain trying to think of a way to celebrate this big, round blog-posting number, but alas, I was left staring at a blank screen wondering if the woman from "19 Kids and Counting" delivered each one of those little munchkins vaginally.

Then I was thinking that if she did, it is a miracle the baby juice can even stay in that black-hole long enough to bring another one of her miracles into this world.

Then I was thinking, one of those kids has be gay. It's just numbers.

I was also thinking, one of those kids will probably end up being a serial killer. Still, it's just numbers.

Then I turned off TLC and decided to never have children.

I wish I had something more though. Words that could fully express my gratitude that even one person decided to read my internet ramblings. Especially, because I think you guys are smart and funny, and I would love to buy you all drinks and touch you inappropriately once the alcohol took hold.

So if any of you guys are ever in Northeast Florida...

Anyways, thank you to everyone who has ever read I'm Not Really a Barista. I think you are all incredible.

Even if a couple of you are probably serial killers. Once again, it's just numbers.

No big deal.


Brandon Lostinidaho said...

I was a cereal killer this morning. Does that count??

Allie said...


LatteJunkie said...

Congratulations and celebrations!

Also thanks again for putting the image of some other woman's vajayjay in my mind... ESPECIALLY one as well used as the woman from 19 and Fucking-should-have-stopped-at-2.

AprilJoyner said...

Love you Allie and your blog =0) She has had 2 or 3 c-sections lol

Allie said...

Latte- Thank you and you're welcome. I love putting creepy, vaginal imagery into people's heads!

April- I love you too! And good to know that she only spit out 16 or 17 kids.

Ach du lieber said...

Congratulations, Allie! My 100th came and went without fanfare. Kudos for keeping track!

Looking forward to 1,000 more 100's!

L-Kat said...

Congrats to you. I whored my 100th post out to Ach du lieber. I <3 her that much. Do you think Jim Bob will try to pray the gay away from his family? I bet so.

Crystal Waldrum said...

YEAH! 100 soon turns into a year and then a 250 then 500 ect...it's kinda strange to count your life via the amount of words you put on the interent but it's pretty cool too!!

MonsteRawr said...

I'm thinking sometime around kid #8 they had to have installed a zipper. Something to keep the kid jammed up there but allow for ease during birth. Velcro, maybe?

Here's to 100 more!

Thank Q said...

19 kids? One at a time or did she have a litter?

I was in Northwest Florida last week, does that count?

Congrats on the 100 posts!

Shaneiferd said...

Congrats on your 100th post! It's a pleasure to read your blog, whether it's advice for awkward sex situations or rants about Santorum (both the person and the butt juice). I hope you continue to entertain us for another 100 more!