Vick: I Miss Dogs! Dogs: Go Fuck Yourself!

I was flipping through the September issue of GQ, (mainly because I would like to dry-hump Mark Sanchez's face) when I came across this photo of Michael Vick.

"I miss dogs, man," he says. "I always had a family dog growing up.
I want a dog for the sake of my kids."

The article is basically a four-page jizzfest, where Vick laments, in shirtless, tattooed glory, that he is in fact, a changed man.

As a football fan, I could care less about Vick, but as an animal-lover, I can't help but be slightly appalled that he's being celebrated again. I understand that he served his time, but I can't fully believe that this man who was taking part in dog-fighting (for what? the fun of it? he didn't need money) has been rehabilitated because he spent some time in prison and did some work with The Humane Society. 

But then again, I'm a judgmental, paranoid person, who believes that people change not because of force but because of choice. 

So what do you think? Has Michael Vick changed? Should he be able to be a dog owner? Or should my puppy, Zeusface Killah, be allowed to give him a poor-man's vasectomy.

I'm Not Really a Meth Dealer... Yet

I've learned something since becoming a post-grad a little over a week ago. People have too many goddamn opinions. An example? Why of course.

“So what are you going to do with your life now that you're out of college?”

Well, I was thinking about selling crystal meth, but I just don't think I have that trustworthy drug-dealer face.

Unfortunately, my responses are never as witty as my imagined-blog responses. The real ones usually sound like this.

Umm, well, I don't know. I think I'm going to keep making coffee for awhile, and I've been writing this blog.

It seems people don't want to hear that you have no idea what you want to do with your life. You've had four years, what in the fuck have you been doing? Any uncertainty immediately takes you out of the "responsible student" category and fast-tracks you into the "soon to be posing seductively on cars" category. 

Seriously people, I didn't just tell you that I got finger-banged by a vagrant in an alleyway again. I told you that I don't know what I want to do with the majority of my time for the next 40 or so years. Give me a break.

So I guess I might really be a barista for a little while, and a blogger and kinda into homeless people, but so is Ke$ha, and she seems to be doing alright for herself.

Life Goals are Bullshit!

You tell 'em K-Money.