Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Reason Kim Kardashian will be Going on a Killing Spree.

Some things are universally uncool.

Taking a photo of a pregnant woman's armpit fat, zooming in on it, pointing arrows at it, and then putting it on a national magazine has just won top billing on the "Not Fucking Cool" list.

I'm not what you would call a Kim Kardashian fan. In fact, I'm still pretty upset that she made me Google image search Ray-J's penis. But no woman, much less a pregnant woman, should be judged for some armpit/bra spillage. That's a dick move.

If she goes on a pregnant lady killing spree soon, it will be because of this picture. And I won't blame her. I would cut the shit out of someone with the razorblade I keep in my mouth, if a person took a picture of my armpit fat while I was just strolling around town.

And I'm not even creating a life inside of my uterus, I'm just a little bloated because Taco Bell started putting Doritos dust on their tacos. 

Maybe I'm taking this a little too personally. But I've been working on not being such a mean, judgmental bitch lately. Partially because I don't want to crypt walk my way into hell, but also because we need to give each other a break--especially us ladies.

It's alright if you got a little armpit spillage. Or cellulite. Or watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It's all good. 

So Kim, if somehow you found this blog while looking for a homemade frappuccino recipe, I just want you to know I'm on your side, girl. 

And you should totally check out those Doritos tacos. They're my jam.

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