Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Catfish. Or Fingers Crossed She's Not a Dude.

Has anyone watched the MTV show "Catfish: The TV Show"? If not, I want you to stop reading this immediately and watch an episode now (come back afterward, please). Or  just watch this clip.

*Warning: SPOILER*

The premise of the show revolves around the following concept: Since social media has infiltrated every portion of our lives, people are now meeting potential partners online at an overwhelming clip.

Sounds nice, right?

The interwebs are allowing people to fall in love with other people they would never normally meet and they get to have babies and LOL at Grumpy Cat together for eternity. Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. You're a freaking saint.

But as with anything good and beautiful, there is a catch. People seem to be using this internet machine as a way to deceive others into believing they're someone they're not!

I'll wait why you compose yourself after that shocking revelation.

Better? Good!

The aforementioned deception is what makes the show "Catfish" so incredible! It's basically an hour of you sitting on your couch, praying to little baby Jesus that super-sexy, college-coed "Tiffany" is actually a 40-year-old dude who sleeps on a futon in his parents' basement with an impressive bellybutton-lint collection.

And then you get to watch in horror as the love-sick frat boy realizes he sent dick pics to this guy.

They should actually change the name of this show to "Russian Roulette: Genitalia Edition".

I know it seems like I'm taking these people's heartbreak lightly, but I can't help but feel like most of the subjects on this docu-series had it coming. Not because they dated online, but because they were too damn trusting.

If you really think, in your heart of hearts, that you met a supermodel/millionaire/playboy bunny on fucking Facebook, you deserve to get played out on national TV. That's God's way of whispering in your ear "You have no common sense."

But after watching several episodes and not seeing one person be who they claim to be, I can't help but wonder, is this what online dating is now? A cesspool of guys with necks that look like hot dog packages posing as Channing Tatum look-alikes.

And if so, how can anyone date online without being terrified?

I can't say that I'm not familiar with the online dating world, but this was many, many moons ago back when the internet screamed at you before connecting, and the guy I met ended up being totally normal and we're still good friends.

So what's the deal? Is this amazing train wreck of a TV show portraying the worst side of online dating? Or is it safe to assume that anyone you meet online will be a dead ringer for the Hunchback of Notre Dame?

If you have any experience, opinions or just want to talk about this ridiculous show, leave it in the comments. And as always, horror stories are always welcome!

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