What am I supposed to Talk About Now? Oh yeah, Facebook!

In case you've been living under a rock, President Barack Obama was re-elected.

And my vagina unclenched for the first time in months.

All the horribleness that is watching a campaign play out was made worthwhile knowing that Mittens McMagicUnderPants would have to go home and cry in his beer glass of warm milk.

Until I got on Facebook, that is.

I always thought my friends were just overdramatic losers without anything resembling an actual life. But in the days following the election, I learned they are also slobbering idiots/bigots.

Good to know, guys!

Here are a few gems I just had to share with you all.

I voted. Where's my money? Love, Moochers

No problemo.

In all fairness, you won't be able to say much when 

you're a Communist.

Dammit, I was wondering where my baby went.

Wait? He's black? I just thought he was Hawaiian. Fuck.

And last, but definitely not least, ME!

The Mayans were obviously huge Romney supporters.

*UPDATE* My Facebook friends are well-mannered and informed compared to the election night social-networkers compiled at Jezebel. Warning: Many of these posts are ridiculously offensive.