Monday, October 22, 2012

Wanna Get Hammered While Pretending to Care about Foreign Policy?

The last presidential debate is tonight, and so far it's 1-1. You know what that means ...

  • Any time Mitt reminds you of an entitled frat boy who majored in date rape. DRINK. Preferably some Mike's Hard Lemonade, or anything delicious that can easily conceal a roofie.

  • Whenever Barack gives Mitt the side-eye like he'd love to go all "Southside Chicago" on his ass. DRINK. Maybe some Hennessy or some of that vodka that Diddy is always talking about.

  • If at any moment during the debate you have a genuine fear that moderator Bob Schieffer has died on stage. DRINK. I suggest some NyQuil and just call it a night.

And that's it. Feel free to drink during the pauses, anytime you really wish they would just perform a duet of Endless Love, or whenever you feel a wash of relief that this is the last debate.

*Disclaimer: I'm Not Really a Barista is NOT RESPONSIBLE for any dumb shit you do while taking part in this drinking game. Have a lovely night.

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