I know my whole schtick is "I'm not really a barista," and I'M NOT because if I was, I would go to my roof and swiftly throw myself off of it. But that's not the point. I think I've been so busy talking about who I'm not, that I've completely forgot to mention who I am.
So, I thought it was only right to introduce a few things about myself to my loyal readers, all two of you, (hi mom) and I wanted to start with the cutest damn thing about me and that would be my English Bulldog Zeus.
Zeusface Killah came into my life a little over a year ago via Craigslist, which proves that the website has many other uses other than directory for prostitutes (see post below).
Zeus is the most delicious form of dog. He's funny-looking, snores, makes noises like dinosaur, drools and overall, is just one squishy pile of extra-large loving. And he's all mine.
I always wanted an English bulldog because of all the reasons listed above but because of their abnormally large heads or something like that momma bulldogs can't have normal baby bulldog births, which means that those wrinkly little bastards are about as much as a car. And since I make coffee, not counterfeit money, I always assumed that they would be out of my price range. But my fella scoured the internet and finally found someone who was looking for a good home for their English bulldog. So we called them, left out any mention of our drinking and intervenous drug use, and soon enough I had the super-meaty puppy of my dreams. I've attached a kinda poor quality video below of the boy, proving that his abnormally large bulldog head is not exactly space for an abnormally large bulldog brain. Enjoy Zeus and the laser pointer.