My Husband's Not Gay and Other Lies TLC tells us.

TLC, the channel once dedicated to learning that now primarily showcases ultra-religious nutjobs, human vending machines, and people who eat sofa cushions, has done it again.

What is it you ask?

Oh I don't know, followed a bunch of Mormon dudes who went to see Magic Mike on opening night and their wives who are in complete freakin' denial.

My Husband is Not Gay is an hour-long special, sure to be turned into TLC's next horrible reality show, that features four straight-identified men from Salt Lake City, who claim to be afflicted with SSA--or Same Sex Attraction.

Now don't you dare get it twisted, these men are not gay. They are straight men (three of which have wives the other is actively dating)  that are primarily attracted to men. And this is totally normal, so normal that the subjects of this show have to explain what SSA is about every 12 seconds.

As one of the wives adamantly explains, her husband is "not gay. [He's] SSA."

Yep. Totally straight. Just want dicks in and around their mouths. Not bi either. Just a group of straight gentlemen who rate other guys on a "danger scale" and spend their time debating with one another which male body type makes their "li'l mormon" wiggle the most.

These men decided that while they are attracted the same sex, they don't want to identify as gay for religious reasons. Because we all know that homosexuality only a sin, if you act on it. Angry Mormon God is totally cool with you fantasizing about Jared Leto, as long as you're doing it inside of a vagina. Amen.

But just because these men are batshit insane closet cases SSA doesn't mean they aren't totally into their wives. As one of the guys quips, "I feel like I've won the lottery. I mean have you seen [my wife]?

Umm, dude, I'm guessing you haven't seen your wife since you fashioned that paper bag with Ryan Gosling's face on it.

This show is obviously ridiculous, but furthermore it's offensive and completely dangerous to the LGBT community. It's giving legs to the idea that there is a difference between homosexual desire and homosexual behavior. That if someone wants to be straight bad enough, they can make that decision. It's essentially the basis of reparative therapy--which is "therapy" used to "change" one's sexual identification. Reparative therapy has been proven to increase depression and suicide attempts among patients and has been denounced by the American Psychological Association.

And here comes TLC giving this nonsense a platform, a piece of media that bigots can point to and say "See it can be done! Homosexuality is a choice and an abomination, now let me get back to my show about polygamy, followed by the show about some broad who spit out like two dozen kids."

I love to write about stupid reality TV because for the most part it's a break from the heaviness that is actual reality, but shows like this bleed into real issues.

This is not toddler beauty pageant contestants or Armenian porn stars, this is a group of men forcing themselves into a category for fear of being ostracized by a religious community. It is self-hatred at it's finest, which is not entertaining. It's heartbreaking.

So sure, your husband may not be gay, but he is a self-loathing closet case, which is worse no matter how you look at it.

Watch the trailer here and let me know what you think. Is it just another crappy reality special from TLC or something a little more sinister?

And thanks to Zane for filling me in on this raggedy ass show in this first place. Good looking out, my friend!