Allie,
Okay so I have more of a question than a problem. Snooki the little meatball from the MTV show "Jersey Shore" is always talking about "sucking butt" is this just a saying or are there really self-respecting females out there sucking butt? Now don't get me wrong, I will give a bj and lick your balls, hell, I will even kiss or nibble your taint, but I will under no circumstance "suck your butt." So my question is: Is this just a funny saying or is the newest sex craze "baby I can't wait to suck your butt" because if it is I'm afraid that I can no longer call myself open minded in bed.
Suck Your.... What?!?!?!?
I'm not.
Snooki is.
I don't know which one you should trust when it comes to all your asshole-sucking expectations. I mean, she's got a book, a TV show and probably many pre-cancerous moles, and all I have is a blog. Plus, I'm positive she has banged more dudes than I have. Maybe we should all just take sex advice from Snooki.
But then again, the ol' Snookster is the color of a dirty penny and answers to the name Snooki, so maybe she doesn't make the best life decisions. So, I decided to bring in another opinion. Enter: My best friend.
My best friend is a complete sexual deviant (you would think her father didn't love her or something) and she's not doing it, so I don't think it has quite hit the mainstream. But I would get yourself prepared, SWS, because once it's on MTV it's not long before everyone is doing it.
How does one get prepared for Anallingus, you ask...
Step 1. Vote Republican*
That's really the only step. Those silly bastards seem to love the asshole. See: Roberto Arango.
* Please don't actually vote Republican. Thanks.
XOXO Allie
