Happy Halloween to the Future Cast of "16 and Pregnant"

Halloween is mere hours away and for any of you guys still searching for the perfect costume to get for the underage girl in your life, I've found a few options in the aisles of Target.

The "Little Girl Sold into Sex Trafficking" Costume

The "Stepdad's Tickle Party" Costume

The "No Sex in the Champagne Room, Unless You Got Some Blow" Costume

I learned after further inspection of the costumes that they're supposed to be something from a show called "Monster High," which is I'm pretty sure is kiddie porn. I'd Google it, but I have enough problems with authorities without adding sexual predator to the list.

Anyways, have a happy and sexually-gratutious Halloween. 

Sister Wives. Skeeved Out Blogger.

The not-creepy-at-all TLC show “Sister Wives” just premiered its third season.

Yep, polygamist Kody, and his date-rapist haircut is back, with his four Mormon wives and 13 Mormon children eager to show viewers their reality--which involves a communal bed and industrial-strength lubricant I'm sure.

It's kind of like Girls Next Store, except I would rather give myself carpal tunnel beating Hugh Hefner's flaccid penis than pretend to enjoy a bro-hug from this dude.

The previews for the new episode highlight the struggles facing the five parents while broaching the topic of dating with their litter of kiddos. One of the moms even addresses her fear that the children won't choose a polygamist lifestyle.

“If our kids don't choose to live this way, gosh, did I do a bad job?”

No, it means that your kids took one look around and said, “Ummm, no thanks.” And that kid should be given a high-fucking-five.

Boy, TLC, you're really living up to your acronym with this series. I've learned from your channel to never have a three-way with a Mormon, because this is what will happen.

Ugh. It can't be unseen.