It's that time, guys. Time for food, family, and shopping yourself into irrevocable post-holiday debt starting at midnight Thanksgiving night.
That is, unless "Black Thursday" protesters have anything to do about it. Target employees are not too thrilled of the new opening time for "Black Friday" shopping, which is 12:01 a.m., meaning that many employees will have to show up at 11 p.m. to ensure that the store is ready for that crazy bitch in the red tracksuit from the Target commercials. And they are pissed!
Employees flooded the Target headquarters with petitions asking the retailer to "Save Thanksgiving" by pushing the opening hours back, ensuring that they get a full day off for the holiday.
And to that I have to say, "Boo-fucking-Hoo!"
I feel no sympathy for Target protesters. You know why?
Well, yes, I do love the idea of scoring discounted DVDs after I have a late-night turkey sandwich, but besides that, the coffee corporation for which I am an employee has their stores open on Thanksgiving!
Yep, on the actual holiday baristas are scheduled to make handcrafted beverages for people with four-day weekends. We miss the Parade. The smell of the turkey cooking. The beginning of football. Just so people can get their caffeine fix before going to the houses of relatives they only see once a year.
Basically we're fucking saints. And do you hear us bitching (besides right now)? No! Because it's called customer service. You service the mother-fucking customer and customers tend to be off on holidays, and they're just aching to be serviced by us.
So sorry, Target Timmy, sometimes you got to do shit you don't want to do. Do you think ER doctors are super stoked that they have to work because dumbasses catch themselves on fire while trying to deep-fry turkeys? My guess is no. The same way baristas don't like missing Snoopy float through the NYC sky like some kind of helium-inflated angel because someone is just dying for a caramel macchiato.
But you deal with it, because there are more important things to worry about than whether or not you get a full 24 hours off, like feline AIDS or Michele Bachmann winning the Republican nomination.
You want to protest, Target Timmy? Protest that shit.
