Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I'm Thankful for Dick Pics and Double Stuff Oreos.

It's November 21st, and you know what that means ...

Yep, I've suffered through 21 days of those "What I'm Thankful For" Facebook posts.

Consider yourself lucky if you haven't been inundated with these updates clogging up every social media site. I mean at first it was cute, but then folks started getting ridiculous.

I'm thankful for double stuff Oreos. That Walgreens sells "neck massagers". That Honey Boo Boo's mom makes me feel super-duper hot.

But in the spirit of Thanksgiving (and posting dumb shit on the Internet), here's what I'm thankful for...

1. I'm thankful that my best friend sends me spontaneous pictures of 
Channing Tatum with his junk out.

2. I'm thankful for this stupid face.

3. And this one. (Notice his David Judgement.)

4. I'm thankful that tomorrow I will be able to eat the shit out of my
 feelings without the cold eyes of judgement on me.

5. I'm thankful for ALL OF YOU! Any one who has ever read this ridiculous
 excuse of a blog, I'm more thankful than you could ever imagine. So...

Channing Tatum dick pictures for EVERYONE!!!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

What am I supposed to Talk About Now? Oh yeah, Facebook!

In case you've been living under a rock, President Barack Obama was re-elected.

And my vagina unclenched for the first time in months.

All the horribleness that is watching a campaign play out was made worthwhile knowing that Mittens McMagicUnderPants would have to go home and cry in his beer glass of warm milk.

Until I got on Facebook, that is.

I always thought my friends were just overdramatic losers without anything resembling an actual life. But in the days following the election, I learned they are also slobbering idiots/bigots.

Good to know, guys!

Here are a few gems I just had to share with you all.

I voted. Where's my money? Love, Moochers

No problemo.

In all fairness, you won't be able to say much when 
you're a Communist.

Dammit, I was wondering where my baby went.

Wait? He's black? I just thought he was Hawaiian. Fuck.

And last, but definitely not least, ME!

The Mayans were obviously huge Romney supporters.

*UPDATE* My Facebook friends are well-mannered and informed compared to the election night social-networkers compiled at Jezebel. Warning: Many of these posts are ridiculously offensive.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Just. Vote.


I don't care what party you are registered with, or what you believe about "your vote counting". 


It's easy to get caught up in affiliation--in the blue or red of it all--but election day isn't solely about what box you check at the polls. 

It's about exercising a hard-earned right--a right bestowed to you by people who believed it was worth fighting for, worth dying for. They knew the most powerful gift they could leave the generations succeeding them was a voice. 

Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.